Monday, March 5, 2012

Wearing "big brother" shoes

I knew that there would be some bumps in the road as Oliver learns his new role of big brother.  Overall, he is adjusting nicely.

As I've previously mentioned, he loves Emelia and is very affectionate with her.
 Except when he hits her.
Which he has done twice.
Which really isn't that bad considering she was born three weeks ago.  Right?!
Then there is the acting out.  Good grief.

Oliver and I no longer speak the same language.  Here are some illustrations.

When I say "no" Oliver takes it to mean "go ahead."

When I say "stop" Oliver hears "keep doing that."

The "I-read-everything-on-the-internet-I-can-find-on-parenting" mother in me knows that he is testing his boundaries and that I need to be firm and consistant which will provide him with the security he needs to feel loved.

The human in me says "for-crying-out-loud-I'm-going-to-pull-my-hair-out-if-you-don't-behave" -- lets just say it's been a bit rough. 

A high point for me came on a night when Andy had to work late. 
We sat down to dinner, Oliver, Emelia and I, and we were all in tears.
But we are learning each day, and day at a time.


  1. I love the honesty you bring to your blog. I can only imagine how difficult it is to meet the needs of two little ones. I konw you are doing a wonderful job. Crying is an all-too-real part of motherhood that they don't tell you about. I hope things are going smoother now.

  2. i know exactly what you are saying! mateo is an expert at testing me and i have failed so many so many times! recently i've been reading a lot about reflecting their feelings and i've been trying to do that more which i think has avoided some meltdowns.

    another thing that worked for me in the first months of 2 babies was some advice luke's uncle who is a pediatrician gave us - you say "baby emelia, you can't give kisses yet, but oliver, you can give kisses!" and something similar with eating, hugging, rubbing, etc to help the older one feel attended to. it is simple but something i loved to do that maybe could work for you guys.

    you are not alone! and you are doing a great job!